


Lost Boy

by haatorii



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Neighbors, Hurt Dean Winchester, I made myself sad, I made this instead of finishing my Solangelo fic, Internalized Biphobia, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, author maybe projecting a little, if I put any more tags it would be spoilers already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26699086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haatorii/pseuds/haatorii
Summary: John Winchester thought that moving his boys was too much of a bother when the safest place he could leave them was the town surrounded by various monster activities, so he gave Dean enough money to last 6 months and then fucked off to God-knows-where, Illinois.The next thing he knew, it’s been almost a year and they’re still enrolled in one school.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 69





	Lost Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao, I'm back in my roots!
> 
> This fic was supposed to be Reddie, but then I realized I already gave Richie & Eddie Everything Comes Back to You (which was originally a Destiel fic), so I said why not give these two geezers the reddie one, and here it is!
> 
> Anyway, this fic is unbeta'd just like everything else I write so all grammatical errors and inconsistencies are mine. ☺
> 
> If you think I missed any tags, please don't hesitate to tell me!
> 
> Title is from Troye Sivan's Lost Boy

“Pack your bags, Dean. We’re leaving at midnight,” his dad orders him and starts to climb upstairs for a nap. The pack of vampires his dad had been hunting has been taken care of so there’s really no tying them to this place anymore.

“What? But-”

“Don’t start with me now, boy. I’m dead fuckin’ tired. You better finish the moment I wake up.”

“Y-yes, sir.”

They have been in this town for almost a year, longer than they usually did. At first, it was because of the poltergeist from the nearby cemetery. Then their dad found the rakshasa two towns over, some changelings down south, and, as if their dad’s luck had run out, vampires and werewolves in the east and west. 

John Winchester thought that moving his boys was too much of a bother when the safest place he could leave them was the town surrounded by various monster activities, so he gave Dean enough money to last 6 months and then fucked off to God-knows-where, Illinois. 

The next thing he knew, it’s been almost a year and they’re still enrolled in one school.

Sam had been ecstatic, of course. The nerd. For the first time in his 14 years of life, he’s almost finished a grade in one school. He’s been making plans with his friends how to spend the whole summer, the places they want to visit, the games they’re going to play, the whole shebang.

Ah, shit. The little squirt’s gonna be so heartbroken.

Dean rubs his hands on his face. Of course he’s going to be the bad brother by breaking the news to him. Their dad couldn’t be bothered by doing it once in a fucking while. 

A couple of hours later and that’s what happens. Sam kicks the table, knocking over the various condiments and his favorite box of cereal all over the floor. Dean clicks his tongue as he picks it up. “Sam!” He shouts but his brother is already out the door and on his way to the arms of his friends.

He cleans up the mess, getting a broom in the kitchen and some dustpan to sweep the cereal off the floor. He grabs a wet rag and wipes the splatter of ketchup on the wall. He has to make sure everything is clean and they did no damage to the place to get their deposit back.

He starts packing their bags after he’s done with the kitchen. Bath towels, face towels, soap, shampoo bottles, he puts in a large plastic bag. The duffel bags for their clothes are strewn open in the corner, ready to be filled with their old clothes. He looks at it, imagination making them look like laughing mouths, mocking him. _You really thought you’d stay here long enough to start planting roots? Ha!_ He shoves things faster in his plastic bag.

Sam comes back, eyes puffed up, and sweat streaking down his temples. “Can’t you tell dad to stay? Just one more week, Dean! We only have one week of school left! Don’t you want to graduate with your friends? Don’t you want to stay with Cas one more week? Dean, please!” His brother begs him, tears welling up in his eyes again. 

Dean sucks in a breath, his lips trembling as he speaks. “You know I can’t do that, Sam. When dad says we go, we go. No questions asked. It has always been like that, that’s how we live.”

“One week, Dean! One fucking week!” He gives his brother a hard look.

“Fuck this! I know you don’t want to leave, Dean. I don’t. So why should we? Are you just gonna leave without telling Cas? I know what you two have, Dean. I’m not blind! Tell me, tell me you wanna leave Cas and I’ll pack my own damn bag!”

Dean is taken aback by his brother’s words. Was he that obvious? He tried so hard to keep his feelings under the wraps and his brother just blurts it out of the blue? The fuck?

Dean looks at his brother's shoes and scratches his forehead. “Sam, just help me or get the fuck out of the house so I could concentrate.”

“No, Dean. Tell me you wanna leave Cas and I’ll help you.”

“I don’t need your fucking help, okay?” He shouts. “Go say goodbye to your friends. Spend your last day with them.”

Sam slaps away the bottle of lotion nearest to him. It tumbles noisily on the floor. “You’re so full of shit!” And walks out again.

Dean takes in another breath and continues to pack.

After packing, Dean walks around the neighborhood he’d come to love. It’s quiet and warm and the people generally left them alone for the most part. He passes by the Reyes’ and the Barneses, the occasional neighbors who would give them food because they like Sam so much. There was never a time they were really hungry in this neighborhood.

“Dean!” A voice calls behind him. He knows that voice. He’ll know it wherever he is. He turns, a somber smile on his face. “Hey, Cas.”

“I went to your house but no one was answering. Thought you might be walking around.” He says. He’s out of breath, clearly running before he sees Dean.

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. Just had to get out of the house.”

“Why?”

“Uh, my dad. He’s back.”

“Oh. The car, yeah. That’s great, isn’t it? He’ll be there for our graduation.”

“Yeah, no. We’re uh,” Dean scratches his eyebrow. It isn’t itchy, he just wants to do something with his hand or else he’ll reach out and hold Cas close to him. “We’re leaving. Soon.”

“What? Why? Graduation is only a week away!”

“That’s just how we do it.”

“But why? I don’t understand. Is it me? Are you just saying this because of what I said the other day? Because that doesn’t matter, Dean. You can totally ignore that! Hey, hey, don’t leave, not yet. I’m still talking.” Cas grips his shoulders. He wants to sag against them. “Look at me,” he does. “You don’t have to do anything with it, Dean, just please, stay?” Cas's eyes are filled with sincerity and pleading. There’s no way he can say shit to hurt him right now. 

“Okay. I’ll tell him. He’ll probably say yes,” he lies. Cas lets out a relieved sigh and smiles. “Can I sleepover later? I just wanna get away from the house tonight. Promise I won’t make any noise.”

“Okay, yeah. Sure. You know I always leave the window unlocked for you,”

It’s already 10 PM and Sam still hasn’t come back. Dean reckons he’ll be back by 11:50 because that’s what he does all the time--go back the latest he could get away with. He has everything in the trunk of the Impala now. Everything they have ever owned, packed and boxed, only took 30 minutes to be taken away. He places the keys on the table and puts on his favorite leather jacket. If his dad wakes up and he’s gone, at least he’ll see that everything is ready, and he knows Dean will never do something stupid like get purposely left behind or something. Dean locks the door behind him and walks to Castiel’s house.

The climb is something that he has done dozens of times that he’s pretty confident he can get inside Castiel’s room with his eyes closed. The first time he did it was when Cas's mom didn’t let him have a sleepover at Jamie’s house even though they had a project to finish. Their group mates convinced Dean to pick Castiel up since their neighbors and Cas was the ‘brains’ of their group and _we just couldn’t do it without him, Dean!_ He grumbled the whole time but the moment he saw Castiel’s shining eyes in the night, filled to the brim with excitement and worry as they climbed down his bedroom window, he promised him days of adventure and new experiences (until the day he leaves that is), and that’s what he did. 

Ever since that night, that fateful night two weeks after Dean and his brother had moved in, he would spend a few good hours inside Castiel’s bedroom, reading comics, watching shows, telling stories of places he’s visited, and the occasional ‘lore’ from Bobby’s books before going back in his own room. Castiel had been _enthralled_ by it all. Of course he thought they were just fiction from Dean’s eccentric uncle but it didn’t matter to Dean. Being with Cas was always a treat. Being with Cas felt like normalcy. Being with Cas felt like he could stand up to his dad and demand they stay longer. Until his dad showed up. 

Dean lifts his window, letting himself in like he always did. Cas is waiting on his bed, reading a book. He removes his jacket and drapes it on the chair.

“Hello, Dean,” he greets when he sees Dean enter.

He tries his best to sound normal when he speaks. “Hi. Whatcha reading?” Cas shows the cover to him. Stephen King’s Misery. “Ah, the crazy chic and the author. Freaky ass shit.”

“Don’t be like that. She’s obviously sick.”

“You’re defending the lady who cut off--”

“No no! Don’t say anything!” Cas almost yells but manages to cover his mouth with his hand. “I’m still in the middle! I know something terrible happens to him but I don’t know what! Don’t spoil it for me!” 

“You haven’t seen the movie yet?”

“I haven’t. I want to finish the book first.”

Dean shrugs. “Suit yourself. You’re in it for a ride, buddy.”

“I know.”

Cas's lamp is on, bathing the whole room with its orange glow. Dean studies his face from a distance, his scrunched up eyebrows, the way his lashes fan the apple of his cheeks as he blinks, his lips. Dean toes off his shoes and walks to Castiel’s bed. He lets himself fall and lies beside his friend’s feet, arms pillowing his head, and closes his eyes.

“That bad, huh?” He hears Cas ask him. He doesn’t answer. Cas must’ve put his book down because the lights go out and he’s arranging himself to lie down beside him. 

“Mom made some pie. It’s your favorite. Do you want me to go grab you a piece?” Dean shakes his head. “Do you want to watch that anime you like? I downloaded the latest episode.” He always knows how to make him feel better. 

Rather than answering, he turns to his side facing Cas. 

_He’s beautiful._

When Castiel confessed to him three days ago, Dean almost cried. His chest was pounding, his palms were sweaty, his feet jittery. He badly wanted to kiss Cas and scream ‘me too’ against his mouth over and over and over, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t because even though it’s been almost a year since they got here, Dean was positive his dad was going to appear out of thin air and drag them away screaming the moment he gets a meaningful connection with someone. He couldn’t because it’s not right. It’s one thing to be bisexual but it’s another to be involved with another guy.

“You can tell me anything, Dean. I’m here for you,” Cas whispers, his voice giving Dean gooseflesh all over because it’s true. Everything that comes out of Castiel’s mouth is true.

“Can we go to sleep?” He asks. 

“Sure, anything.” Castiel answers. He sits up and so does Dean, turning so he’s lying properly on his full-sized mattress. Dean soon follows. 

They have done this for dozens of nights already, sleeping together. Castiel facing the wall with Dean behind him. Nobody asks about it and nobody does anything to stop it. They just let it happen. Sometimes, when Cas is at the edge of consciousness, Dean would come closer, pressing his chest firm on Castiel’s back. Sometimes Cas would rest a foot above Dean’s, feeling the other man’s warmth on his foot, when he feels that Dean has fallen asleep. Dean would wake up at dawn with his arm around Cas's torso and the brunet clutching his hand protectively to his chest.

This time, however, Dean doesn’t wait for Cas to fall asleep. He wraps an arm around Cas and holds him close to his chest, like he’s afraid Cas is gonna go up in smoke if he doesn’t keep him close enough. He noses the skin behind Cas's ear and stays there. He wants to surround himself with his scent. To memorize him. Immortalize him in his senses.

Castiel gasps but doesn’t say anything, just holds Dean’s hand tight against his chest. His hand is warm and soft, as opposed to Dean’s cold and rough, full of calluses from all the hard work he’s had to do to take care of his family, to keep Sam safe. Cas rests his foot between Dean’s sock-covered feet.

The two boys hold each other like that until Cas's breathing evens out. Dean doesn’t know how long they’ve been holding each other in their arms but it doesn’t matter, it’ll be midnight soon, he’ll be out of the window and out of Castiel’s life. At least let him have this, _please let me have this, just this and nothing more._

His watch beeps and he bites his lip, terrified that Cas might wake up. He lifts his left hand that had fallen asleep to his mouth and bites the button to make it stop. It does but the jury’s still out to whether or not he’s relieved by its silence. 

When he pries out his hand from under Cas's, it is almost a miracle that Cas doesn’t stir. It kills him to move but Dean has to go. He looks at his watch, 11:51. He has six more minutes before he really has to go. So he stays.

Dean holds Castiel’s pajama-covered hips and gently rubs a circle with his thumb.

“I’m sorry to leave you like this,” he whispers, tears prickling in his eyes. “I hope you forgive me, I hope you forget about me. I’ll always love you.” He plants a barely-there kiss on his shoulder and rises from the bed, careful not to move too much. He wears his jacket and gives one last glance on Castiel’s sleeping form and ducks out the window.

The night air isn’t cold but it might as well be by the way Dean wraps his arms around his body. He hears the Impala roaring into life before he sees it, his dad and brother already inside.

“Where the fuck did you go?! I said we were leaving at midnight!” His dad growls at him.

“Won’t happen again, sir.” He says, his head held high like the perfect little soldier that he is.

“Give him a break, dad. He’s here now, isn’t he? Let’s just fucking go.” Sam bites back for him. He rests his head on the window, looking far away. Dean rounds the car and slides beside him.

Their dad revs the engine despite the dead silence and speeds away, leaving the life they had behind. Dean closes his eyes and thinks of blue eyes and a handsome smile until consciousness takes him away.

**Author's Note:**

> I made myself sad.
> 
> Tell me what you think!
> 
> Hit me up on [Tumblr](http://haatorii.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
